Take me to your backwoods now...

Not too sure this is funny removed from its context and with all identifying details expunged, but here goes: this is an email announcing the completion of renovations at a local library.

Hi all,
When we opened for business this morning, our new rear entrance made its debut! Our bookdrop has also returned to service.

If you haven't had the opportunity to see the new back door and entryway, please stop by when you're in the neighborhood.

We are planning for a formal ribbon-cutting; details will be forthcoming.

Sincerely,
Manager
Your Hometown Library Branch

Seriously, like WTF you figure a "bookdrop" could be? (Please do NOT submit your ideas.) And the images conjured by the "ribbon-cutting" - oh! be careful with those scissors!

Now, I've looked at this carefully, and I think there's actually no way to write this message without creating a double entendre. The manager in question has done a fine job, and only I and a few of my less-mature friends (hi!) are going to get all Beavis & Butt-Head over it. Please don't fire me.