Sunday, July 02, 2006

Some things you may not know about your neighborhood librarian


One or many may apply, depending on your neighborhood and your librarian.

  • Your neighborhood librarian is probably female, but you knew that.
  • Your neighborhood librarian is a public servant with a postgraduate education.
  • Your neighborhood librarian has a postgraduate education and decided to work in public service.
  • Your neighborhood librarian reconsiders that decision from time to time.
  • There's about a 35% chance your neighborhood librarian has a tattoo.
  • If your neighborhood librarian is under 40, it's more like a 80% chance.
  • Your neighborhood librarian may think murder mysteries are a bore, but she can recommend one for you.
  • If your child is screaming in the library, it is almost for sure that your neighborhood librarian has been there, and does not judge you in the least.
  • Your neighborhood librarian has a thriving healthy marriage built on frank dialogue and shared interests.
  • Your neighborhood librarian has been so thoroughly dicked-over by her ex-husband that she has sworn off dating entirely.
  • Your neighborhood librarian is an avid gardener.
  • Your neighborhood librarian thinks Nature is out to kill her.
  • Your neighborhood librarian is going to dress up for Otakon.
  • Your neighborhood librarian doesn't really get this "manga" stuff. Isn't it just comic books?
  • Your neighborhood librarian is a natural blonde.
  • Your neighborhood librarian can't remember her natural hair color.
  • Your neighborhood librarian is a cat owner.
  • Without exception.
  • You are correct in surmising that your neighborhood librarian has a larger vocabulary than you do.
  • Your neighborhood librarian owns at least one garment that laces up the torso.
  • In your dreams, pal.
  • Your neighborhood librarian smoked entirely too much pot in the 80's.
  • Your neighborhood librarian knows entirely too much about opera.
  • Your neighborhood librarian thinks it's idiotic that people try to ban Captain Underpants.
  • Your neighborhood librarian thinks there's a lot to be said for Captain Underpants.
  • Your neighborhood librarian has tried out the booger-dodging game on the Captain Underpants website.
  • Your neighborhood librarian volunteers at her neighborhood school library because the school can't afford a professional librarian, and that's not ok.
  • Your neighborhood librarian would like to get paid.
  • You may be surprised by how much your neighborhood librarian knows about computers, even if she is much older than you.
  • Your neighborhood librarian does not support the USA Patriot Act.
  • Your neighborhood librarian can identify that book that your book club is reading, but you forgot the title and don't know the author, but it was something about sewing? and China?
  • Your neighborhood librarian does not say everything she is thinking.
  • That's why she has a blog.