Thursday, March 13, 2008
Fug the READ poster - Keira Knightley
JANE: Hello, Keira.
JANE: How nice to see you again, dear.
JANE: Dear, your thumb is over my title.
JANE: You look well.
KEIRA: Right. Napoleonic is such a great look for me. I look like something out of Kate Greenaway!
JANE: Well, an Empire waistline does favor a more... feminine figure, I would say.
JANE: Poor thing. It's really too bad that you've been imposed upon in this way. When I can think of so many of our lovely young British women that have been associated with my work... other lovely young women, I should say. You're lovely too, of course - everyone says so.
KEIRA: Yes. I'm a bloody flower.
JANE: Let's see... they could have asked dear Emma, of course, or Rosamund Pike. Either Kate would have done: Beckinsale or Winslet...
KEIRA: Yes, well it's the two of us here so let's just take the picture.
JANE: ... Samantha Morton, I'm sure she's an avid reader... Embeth Davidtz...
KEIRA: RIGHT. Is someone out there? SNAP THE PHOTO, will you?
JANE: ... Gwyneth Paltrow...
KEIRA: Ok, look, I didn't say anything about Embeth because she's South African at least, but Paltrow isn't even remotely English.
JANE: Oh but she tries so hard. So well educated, and what breeding! You know she's actually read my books.
JANE: ...Aishwarya Rai...
KEIRA: That's it, I'm out of here.
JANE: And get your hair out of your eyes! Really, one meets the most appalling people...
As always, my hat is off to gofugyourself.com. Buy their book!