Thursday, March 13, 2008

Fug the READ poster - Keira Knightley



JANE: Hello, Keira.

KEIRA: JANE.

JANE: How nice to see you again, dear.

KEIRA: Mmm-hmm.

JANE: Dear, your thumb is over my title.

KEIRA: [SIGH]

JANE: You look well.

KEIRA: Right. Napoleonic is such a great look for me. I look like something out of Kate Greenaway!

JANE: Well, an Empire waistline does favor a more... feminine figure, I would say.

KEIRA: [snort]

JANE: Poor thing. It's really too bad that you've been imposed upon in this way. When I can think of so many of our lovely young British women that have been associated with my work... other lovely young women, I should say. You're lovely too, of course - everyone says so.

KEIRA: Yes. I'm a bloody flower.

JANE: Let's see... they could have asked dear Emma, of course, or Rosamund Pike. Either Kate would have done: Beckinsale or Winslet...

KEIRA: Yes, well it's the two of us here so let's just take the picture.

JANE: ... Samantha Morton, I'm sure she's an avid reader... Embeth Davidtz...

KEIRA: RIGHT. Is someone out there? SNAP THE PHOTO, will you?

JANE: ... Gwyneth Paltrow...

KEIRA: Ok, look, I didn't say anything about Embeth because she's South African at least, but Paltrow isn't even remotely English.

JANE: Oh but she tries so hard. So well educated, and what breeding! You know she's actually read my books.

KEIRA: Hey!

JANE: ...Aishwarya Rai...

KEIRA: That's it, I'm out of here.

JANE: And get your hair out of your eyes! Really, one meets the most appalling people...



As always, my hat is off to gofugyourself.com. Buy their book!