Monday, February 26, 2007

Gypsies, tramps and thieves

So, I liveblogged the Oscars. I'm that kind of person now. I admit, it was kind of fun, although the targets were not, so to speak, broad. I'll say it - the show was boring.

The frocks were like tasteful bridesmaid gowns - somebody told them to start wearing colors, so they all wore variations in solid colors just like they picked 'em out of a catalog and ordered dyed-to-match shoes.

Nobody fell down, nobody did or wore anything egregiously stupid that I saw... you know, I miss Cher.

The show? Boring too. Of the top awards, only surprise was Alan Arkin, and you just can't begrudge him. Ellen? SO boring. The most daring thing she said was that Dame Judi Dench was off getting her boobs done. And she changed clothes 3 times with color variations merely! A hat? A tux jacket? Rhinestones? Throw us a bone!

I kept dreaming of ways they could gimmick it up and sabotage the careful preparations of the famous people: the rehearsed small talk, the risk-free dress... have it outside, I thought. Or blindfold everybody. Short improv exercises assigned the winners and the presenters, like quickie Whose Line Is It Anyway? games. Ooh, maybe they could have Drew Carey host! No, Christ, he'd want to dance.