The Advil Calendar, Week Three, Day One: This Time It's Seasonal

IT'S THE FIFTEENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS AND DID YOU EVER THINK YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE IT THIS FAR?

Artsy fartsy mug from ABC, only 75 bucks. Apiece.

No? Well you have. Welcome to the third Thursday of Advent, also known as Saint ABC Carpet and Home Day, because at this point you are just going to stop in there after work and GET SOMETHING for that bitch sister-in-law who now says she has "way too many" umbrellas so you had to take the one you bought for her back to the museum gift shop... because COME ON, there is literally something for everyone at ABC as long as you don't mind paying at least fifteen times more than it's worth.

(In other cities you're going to have to substitute Pier One. Suck it up, I live in Baltimore now and I've gotten used to it, you can too.) (On the bright side, much cheaper.).*

And after you have closed your eyes and paid waaaay too much for a throw pillow or some letterpress stationery, you are going around the corner to the Old Town and salvage your pride by ordering something dignified yet gutsy, and classy too. Thursday is New Yorkers' Night Out, after all. Stay for two.

Dolores del Rio and friends salute your shopping acumen

I'm going to suggest the aromatic, cultured Dolores Cocktail. The Dubonnet is light and a little sweet, and the rum and sherry are complex and rich.

2 parts aged rum (my beloved Flor de Cana is wonderful in this but any will do)
2 parts Dubonnet Rouge
1 part fino sherry
Stir vigorously with ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, garnish with a lemon twist.

Or if you're me, you'll maybe also want to try the Dubonnet Negroni, equal parts gin, Campari, and Dubonnet Blanc, garnished with a lemon twist. If you can find a guy in a fancy gaucho outfit to hang out with at the bar, you are WAY ahead.

A note about that fino sherry in the Dolores: what you'll find at the Old Town will no doubt be Tio Pepe, which is fine. But fino sherry is white and fresh, and if you buy your own bottle, it should be kept in the fridge with the vermouth and other wine-based spirits.


*I am kidding about Pier One. This year more than others, you will really help your fellow citizens by shopping as locally as you can. Here are some Baltimore alternatives to popular online or chain stores - try to find the same kind of analogues in your town:

Necklace made from vintage tin at Studio C

• Etsy - Studio C Jewelry and Gifts, 4337 Harford Road in Lauraville
• Urban Outfitters - Trixie's Palace, 1704 Thames Street in Fells Point
• Anthropologie - Myrtle Dove, 5006 Lawndale Avenue, Roland Park
• Design Within Reach - Home Anthology, 91 Mellor Avenue in Catonsville
• West Elm - In Watermelon Sugar, corner of Chestnut and 36th Street in Hampden
• Pottery Barn - Su Casa, 901 S Bond Street in Fells Point
• Starbucks - Zeke's Coffee, 4607 Harford Road in Lauraville
• LUSH or Bath and Body Shop - SoBotanical, 14 E West St in Federal Hill
• Thinkgeek - Shananigans, 5004 Lawndale Ave. in Roland Park
• Toys R Us - Mumbles and Squeaks, 8133 Main St. in Ellicott City
• Lillian Vernon - The Toy Chest, 1809 Reisterstown Road, Suite 150 in Pikesville
• Gymboree - Urban Baby Runway, 3608 Falls Road, Hampden
• Amazon or BN - Atomic Pop (Hampden), The Ivy (6080 Falls Road, Roland Park), Children's Book Store (Roland Park), Red Canoe (Lauraville)
• Ritz Camera - Service Photo, Hampden

TOMORROW: Fire up the DVD player and relax with the Whos down in Whoville and a drink inspired by the meanest of mean old men. (Hint: it's not the Grinch.)