Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Advil Calendar, 2011: WEIRD DRINK WEDNESDAY HORROR EDITION


WEDNESDAY THE WHAT?TEENTH
Ok here's what happened. I lost count of days, or I never counted up to begin with, or something, and I wrote this whole day thinking that Wednesday was the 13th. So... we're just going to pretend that it is.

Humde dum.

OMG Weird Drink Wednesday falls on the 13th of the month???!?!! We're all gonna diiiie!!!

*cough*
It's ok, don't get up, I'll get you a beer. No no, it's no trouble.

Now that that's over with, we might as well embrace the mayhem, the bad luck, the lurking horror. We ought to just shake hands with the nightmares of the season, so that when they crash down on us through the suspended ceiling of our self-deluded holiday hopes we will at least be among friends: the mechanic on the phone explaining that what you thought was a slipped belt is in fact a blown transmission. The friendly neighbor asking "Has your chimney always leaned like that?" The first trimester progress report (what used to be called a report card). The work email that includes the phrase, "due to these economically straitened times..." Passive-aggressive stepmothers. Passive-passive husbands. And a holiday to-do list as long as Tim Riggins's... well, it's long.

Given all that, here's a cocktail inspired by Jason, the Friday the 13th serial killer of our youth. Bet you weren't expecting that - nobody every expects Jason, although after like seventeen movies in which he just keeps coming back, you'd think we'd all be expecting Jason whenever we like stepped into a fitting room at Nordstrom or parked in the garage or went swimming.


The Crystal Lake Surprise (something horrible is is floating in it!)
2 measures of white rum
1/4 measure of blue curaçao
1 measure of orange juice
1/2 measure of lime juice
1 packet of red Jell-O
Vodka (optional)
Make the Jell-O. Add vodka (if desired) and set it in the freezer.
Just before the Jell-O sets, sir it up with a hand whisk.
Let it set for at least 5 minutes.
Mix (shake) the rum, blue curaçao and juices with a cocktail shaker over ice.
Strain mixture into a chilled cocktail glass.
Spoon the surprise into the cocktail. It should now float ominously in the water like the body of little Jason Voorhees!

I copied this recipe hook line and sinker from a terrific post by a creative and strong-willed (and strong-livered) Halloween-obsessed blogger in the UK. I could not resist the combination of a floating Jell-O shot and a Friday the 13th reference - it's just like high school! Except I didn't drink in high school and I was afraid of horror movies.

It's entirely possible that this would be rather a nice drink without the floating viscera - the curaçao is going to make it a little sweet but I think with a dust of red pepper I would totally try this.


Next week: look for cocktails inspired by favorite movie characters, crotchsnickety family members, and finally - finally, Cheryl! - I'll post an eggnog recipe. Or three.