Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"As the basal ganglia take up their power tools, what started as an ordinary headache is turning into something much, much worse" - Clive Owen

I have been having a headache. If that seems like an odd deployment of the past perfect (I think) tense, consider that I woke up with this headache early last week, spent two days and several evenings in bed with it, and was almost rid of it this morning, only to have it reprise early this afternoon, this time with full chorus and strolling musicians.

It's kind of evolving. It makes me nauseous. It reverberates through my joints and in my back. It is affected by light. As of Sunday, it began to notice sound. And yesterday, it caused my hands to shake. Maybe we should make a Discovery Channel documentary out of it. Can Clive Owen narrate? He'd make it sound ominous and sexy.

Anyway, after trying multiple combinations of Advil, Aleve, Excedrin, hydrating like a motherfucker, abstaining from caffeine, taking extra caffeine, etc., my generous and caring cousin spanked me some Imitrex. Oh, she is one talented cousin, that cousin!

I took my friend Loren's advice, and waited to take it until I knew I didn't have anything to do for the next few hours. I'm terrible at drugs anyway. My first labor was hell, you should have been there. No you shouldn't have. So tonight around 6pm I took the Imitrex and got in a bubble bath. These headaches also make me cold, very cold, unwarmably cold.

The headache wasn't going anywhere, but I did get nice and warm. I had brought a book into the bathroom, but I forgot about it while I watched the patterns in the bubbles. I saw a lioness, a cream pie (one of those tall ones like you see in diners), Grover from Sesame Street (twice), a proboscis monkey, the state of Georgia - wait no that was South Carolina, Chester Cheetah, a polar bear, and the silhouette of a cruise ship.

So I decided to get out of the bath.