When I called you last night from Glasgow

You know, if I had it my way, I wouldn't paint my walls at all. I'd bring home the entire wall of swatchy strip things from Sherwin Williams and stick them all up on the wall together. I love color. Pretty much all colors, lots of colors, even the colors I don't like, I'm like Billy Bragg: "If you stick around, surely we can find some common ground."

I've also spent a fair amount of time painting in the last 48 hours. Can you tell? Painting in enclosed spaces. Woo! As I observed about one of the carpenters: "Glen has spent a lot of time around... solvents, hasn't he?" It's COLD in that goddamn basement, at least it is so far. They tell me there will be heat. But this weekend it was so cold that the primer went on like Elmer's glue.

I painted the big room in the basement a robin's egg greeny-blue called Spa. The first person who walks into that room and says the word "toothpaste" gets a punch in the yap. I'm just sayin.

The bathroom is this crazy mossy yellow-green called Kodiak. "Like, goose-shit green?" asked my friend Chris. "A little less yellow than goose shit," I told her.

We're having trouble settling on a color for the kitchen. Our living room is bright apple green, almost chartreuse, and I think I'm going to repaint the dining room an inky blue. I was looking at a bottle of Longhammer IPA when I hit on that blue. So with the blue and the green I was thinking a wheat-gold for the kitchen.

At this point, I carry color strips everywhere I go. I shuffle them, lay them out, talk about them with our friends. And I've noticed, in our conversations, as in the one with Chris above, we can talk about color and make each other understood. We don't use words like Spa or Kodiak or Viking; we use words like asparagus, crabgrass, babyshit, and dryer lint. And somehow we have gotten on a somewhat... anatomical tack this past week.

So here, for your delectation, the new color line from those creative folks in Greater Lauraville, Maryland. My thanks to Eerily Similar Paula, The Toddfather, Heather, Studio Constance, Molly, Recovering Graphic Designer Rich, Patty in Exhibitions, Darius, and Sam, who thinks "opulent" is an insult.


Areola


Bile


Bleeding mole


Bruise


Cataract


Chlamydia. Some of these words, after all, are so pretty that they deserve a second chance.


Colostrum


Cradle cap


Cyanosis


Giardia


Jaundice


Kuru


Meconium


MRSA


Perineum


Psoriasis


Rosacea


Sclera


Taste bud


Tubercle


Vernix


And, last but not least... BRAINS!