- I wouldn't have to move far
- I wouldn't spend my entire first term campaigning for the second, because I'm smart enough to know that this next one is a one-term presidency if ever there was one
- I would take a page from Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's book and promote the American fashion industry while in office, because GOD knows I don't have the clothes for it, and I'll need Todd Oldham to step in and dress me up
- I would apply basic parenting rules when making governance decisions: i.e. clean it up yourself, tell a grownup when you've fucked up, no hitting, etc.
- Truly arbitrary decisions would be made via rock-paper-scissors. And the FIRST round would decide it - none of this best-two-out-of-three BS
- Any combat would be modelled on Jedi fighting - slow motion, with sound effects, winner to be determined via style points
- I would restore the country's reputation abroad, mainly by having bitchin' parties and inviting everyone
Saturday, October 11, 2008
And why not?