Bow down before the one you serve

Christmas is going, the goose forgot his hat,
Please throw a penny at the old man's cat.
If he hasn't got a cat, then throw it at his head -
If you throw it at his head then he might be dead.

I love my husband. Funniest son of a bitch in Baltimore.

I swear, I haven't cooked a meal since Christmas day. Ok granted, on that day I cooked an eleven-pound fresh ham, hoppin' john, rice and greens, mashed sweet potatos, broccoli, sauerkraut, bread pudding and hard sauce... but still, it's been a solid week, 3 meals a day, and we've had enough parties, open houses, impromptu gatherings, and family dinners to keep us fed without me lifting a finger. A FINGER. Not even THIS one (and yeah, you know who you are).

...

For example, just today we were invited over our friends' house for breakfast. We had two open houses to attend later in the day, but we certainly wanted to hang in the A.M. with our home crew.

Good breakfast. We just got home from their house an hour ago - at 6:30 pm. It was like The Big motherfucking Chill over there: or, like, you know those mid-Pacific gyres? The horse latitudes where all the plastic garbage on the planet ends up? Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not calling Molly & Sam's house a garbage slick - but nobody could leave that house today. There was champagne, coffee, O.J., waffles, potatoes, sausages, bacon, bean soup, pork & sauerkraut, apples, chocolate, biscuits, pasta, green beans, beer, schnapps... eleven kids having a terrific time, and 14 grownups cracking each other up and showing off their swearing skills whenever the children were out of earshot. Wow.

We have met some of the greatest people since Big Man started school. I can't believe how lucky we are.

When you don't have kids, you can have a fun raging late-night social life, but it often devolves into who's sleeping with whom and competing to see who has the worst neuroses. (and I'm not sayin' that's not fun!) When you have kids though, whenever the conversation lags, you can complain about your kid, and man, that's ALWAYS funny. Kind of like a poop joke.

Also?



booty booty booty!