Tuesday, May 13, 2008


That picture yesterday looks like the fruits of a weekend spent castrating clowns. Don't you think? Really they're juggling balls I made for the elementary school's juggling club. Balloons filled with millet. Anyway. Here's a meme that MotherReader tagged me with. I would do it on Pink Me, but then I couldn't talk about drugs and multicolored scrotums. Scrota?

What were you doing five years ago?

2003? That's easy. Unpacking boxes while WAITING for Zhou to be born. He was born June 3 - two weeks late and induced. We moved into this house May 7. I was large and psychotic. I mowed the entire lawn with the weedwhacker because we didn't have a lawnmower yet.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

1. Roast a chicken
2. Start taking pictures with my brand new long-awaited Nikon D40 as soon as the battery charges
3. Pick up Mao and Small Batch from school
4. Shower*
5. Score*

What are five snacks you enjoy?
Flaming Hot Cheetos
Pickled okra
Real licorice
Gummy bears
The other half the bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
Buy the school a science teacher
Buy every school a science teacher
Live in Africa half the year
Not clean
Pitch in with George Soros

What are five of your bad habits?

Too much time on the computer
Being the last to get up in the morning
Getting all OCD on the dishwasher
Driving with my eyes crossed just to see how long I can do it without crashing into something*

What are five places where you have lived?
New York City

What are five jobs you have had?
Director of marketing at an insurance finance company
Artist's model
Assistant editor at a medical publishing company
Special Collections Manager at the American Museum of Natural History

What five people do you want to tag?
AH, who doesn't do these things
Heidi, who might
Lori, payback for those 106 books (which was actually pretty interesting)
mb, because I'm curious
and ACW, because I haven't had enough profanity in my day yet*

*that is a lie